success is my only … option

…Or so went my going-home soundtrack a couple days ago. I’ve just about maxed out my phone memory on downloaded Spotify soundtracks for the ride home, but I forgot about making one for bad days, because up until Tuesday, they didn’t exist. Turns out, Eminem is massively awesome rage music. Who knew?

For the last few weeks, I’ve been floating in this sort of “is this really happening” cloud of elated incredulity that I could really, truly be doing this and not just daydreaming about it behind the wheel again. I still can’t stop smiling every stupid time I pass that “Dordt College” sign in the morning. Seriously. I’m kinda annoyingly happy. This is a new thing for me. …But I think I could get used to it.

As Newton’s law (it was Newton, right?) goes, what goes up must come down, and I managed to resist my internal pessimist (see, I told you I’m going insane…) enough to forget that with four straight weeks of this, something was bound to happen. Sooner or later, the static from KFKD (it’s an Anne Lamott thing…) would finally break through, and I’d be Don Music-ing my way home.

So, it happened. I survived. And now, I’m maybe a little bit embarrassed about it. As I reminded myself on the way home Tuesday afternoon (in between singing along with Eminem. All the words…), Einstein flunked math. Edison failed thousands of times before he got the light bulb right. Hemingway was a drunk. Wait –that’s not terribly encouraging. Scratch that.

Anyway, life is going on just fine beyond my initial happy fog of beginning a new semester, and I think I’m going to make it through, whether I have a couple spectacular failures or just a couple mediocre papers (which anybody who cares about their work can tell you IS THE SAME FREAKING THING) or things just go fabulously well the rest of the semester. And I know how to use semicolons now. And sentence fragments (although parenthetical statements… still a problem). I must be learning something along the way.

So, to those voices in my head (see also: KFKD): bring it. This is SO on.

Back to the lab again, yo.